I see that people who are complacent seem to lie to themselves. In other words, they find excuses, and then delude themselves in believing that the excuse is true.
An example of a usual thought process:
What we hear from others: “I love my job!”
Which comes from: “I don’t like what I do for a living and sure it’s leaving me drained in every other aspect of my life, but the pay is so good. It’s worth it!”
Which comes from: “It’s too hard to find a job with equal pay and stability without putting in a huge effort. I’m comfortable.”
Which comes from: “I rather put in little to no additional effort, than putting in more effort and getting what I really want. I am choose to complain about something in my control.”
It’s easier for people to be complacent by making excuses they believe are true, than to be honest with themselves and have to face the fact that the life they’ve always wanted is on the other side of deliberate effort.
This is of course happening as self-speak, not spoken word, because if it was spoken word none of this would ever take place. We’re forced to be honest with ourselves when there’s social accountability. But in our minds, we get to bullshit ourselves and then conclude that the bullshit is true.
I find that complacency is a signal for people who are lying to themselves internally to justify their lack of agency to get things they genuinely want.
If the person didn’t lie to themselves, they wouldn’t be complacent because they’d either realize they don’t want the thing badly enough, or they’ll do something about it. This is what self-honesty looks like.
When you’re radically honest with yourself, there is nowhere to hide. You don’t weave stories together to get away with minimal effort. Agency is maximized because you realize everything boils down to actions you’re choosing to take or not take, and more radically you realize that everything is a choice.
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